I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
it was like having sex with a tree stump
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize
