Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
