She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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