I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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