I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
