Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
