I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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