im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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