This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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