I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
