I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize