We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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