But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
