I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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