I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
