last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
