Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
