We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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