mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
