How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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