We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
