kristin has been a bad kristin
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
