he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
