I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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