Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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