I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
