What did we do last night that was yellow?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
