great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
