I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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