Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
