also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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