is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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