He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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