Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
