he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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