she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Let's paint friendship bongs
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
