I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
