So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
