was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
