He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
