If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
