Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
