haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
