yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
