I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
