I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
