I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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