..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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