I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Watching her eat just hurts me
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
