did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Barsexuality is the new black.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
