You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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