I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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