Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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