If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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