Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
