I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
