I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
