no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
