Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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