i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
