my soul wont recognize me after tonight
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
