so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
