Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize